Having failed earlier in the week at the usual sources, I'd resigned myself to a supermarket trip. Anyone knowing me well enough realises this has potential of leading to a Mildrew Moment.
Aside from their high sightings ratio for attractive members of the opposite sex, supermarket visits can be scary! Bright lights, big isles, rows and rows of produce, from clothes and electrical to food and drink - its all there to discover as I try to find what I need among the vast array of goods. Then there's over packaging and ridiculous 'buy one get one free' offers. Something else to throw out at the end of the week when it starts to rot. I just want one - I don't want 3, 10 or any other bloody combination, just one item please and without all the wrapping that you cannot get into!! Deep breath and chill.................
Whether its something to do with age, but I've developed a support for the small local trader with at least my weekly grocery purchases. I hate how the big multi-nationals screw the world financially and ecologically. However, just occasionally, ones needs cannot always be met and this was one of those instances.
Realising it was nearly closing time for a Sunday, it just asda be done and with a gentle pat on the wallet in my back pocket, I headed off into town.
With just one item, I made a bee-line for the self serve check outs that speak to you - uh ho! warning! warning! mistake! mistake!!. But it's too late and like one of those slow motion car crashes, my Mildrew Moment was about to unfold .....
First I was told I needed the purchase authorised to continue (ie: someone comes to check you're over 18 and removes the secure tab from the top of the bottle). It then told me it still couldn't proceed. Kind lady quickly returns and enters some code, walks off and allows me to continue! By now there's a queue gathering behind. The machine then asks me to enter how much cash back I want! Grrrr, by now I'm thinking I don't want any sexing money, I just want to purchase this item and go home!! I then tried to cancel the process, picked the bottle up and headed for the normal tills. Kind lady spots me and comes to my rescue by starting the procedure again, pressing the 'no cash required' button and getting me to the stage of entering my pin number.
Grrr, why do things have to be made so difficult. It further justifies why I like to lead a simple uncomplicated life and just visit a nice little grocers store, veg shop or butchers where you can have a polite friendly conversation, ask after each other, how's life and the universe. Not do battle with a load of parents, rampaging kids, shopping trolly's and underpaid shop assistants trying their best to get through the day without too much stress.
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| A bottle of Mildrew Moment (c Rotton Yarns) |
As for the friend in question, they're a great mate, all round good egg and 110% worth the effort. Here's hoping they'll have a great birthday but don't drink it all in one go! :o)
I've seen beans in tomato sauce and also tuna in spring water, but I can't recall along which aisle you find rabbits in headlights? Hare products?
ReplyDeleteI don't belieeeve it, I've found some-one grumpier than me. God, that makes me feel so good. Hi John. In case you don't know, this is Graeme's big bro' commenting. I'll be following from now on, best wishes.
ReplyDelete'ello Graeme's big bruv! Glad to 'ave you aboard my daft blog site. I can see where you are coming from, but its really all on the outside and tongue in cheek, honest :o) I'm not really grumpy at all - if I was I wouldn't find it all very amusing and be laffin my socks off about my MM's. As I hope little bruv will testify I'm a bit of a cheeky clown and wag. Life is too short to take seriosly and to be grumpy.
ReplyDeleteAll the very best and Happy New Year